[Vous savez ce que représente dans les temps qui courent avoir 50 dollars de viande un dimanche en Haiti? Eh bien, Madame Perez a appris que le chat du grand avocat voisin a mangé la moitié des 50 dollars de viande achetée pour le grand repas du midi. Quelle atroce nouvelle! Qui va manger les restes du chat? Non c'est intolérable!... Mais comment exiger réparation à l'avocat qui est connu comme un super intelligent, un maître d'armes (Yon Mètdam se sinonim vòlò!). Alors Madame Perez a eu une idée géniale. Elle va chez le voisin, le salue :]
Mèt Lefort V, nan Okap, fè yon kokenn kou
Ou konnen kisa sa reprezante lontan, gen 50 dola vyann yon dimanch an(n) Ayiti? Ebyen, Madan Perès aprann ke chat vwazen an, yon gran avoka, manje mwatye 50 dola vyann yo te achte pou gwo repa midi. Yon nouvèl ki pou bay kriz kadyak! Kilès ki pral manje rès chat la? Non, sa entolerab! … Men kijan pou fè avoka a peye sa, li menm moun konnen kòm gran mètdam? (mètdam la a sinonim ak vòlò).
Alò Madan Perès gen yon bèl ide ki vin nan tèt li. Li pral kote vwazen an pou salye l:
(Madan Perès): Bonjou Mèt la!
(Avoka): Bonjou vwazin! Ki bon van k mennen w lakay mwen? Lapli pral tonbe! Dimanch ankò?
(Madan Perès): Non Mèt la, se yon kesyon mwen te vin poze w wi Mèt.
(Avoka): O!
(Madan Perès): Wi Mèt, mwen ta renmen mande w sa w panse si yon vwazen genyen yon chat ki ale kay yon vwazin epi chat la manje vyann vwazin nan; daprè ou, kisa pou vwazin nan ta fè?
(Avoka): (Reflechi yon moman... li sonje li gen yon chat...): Ebyen, si sa ta rive m, mwen t a prale kay vwazen an, mande pou l remèt mwen lajan vyann nan!
(Madan Perès): Ebyen, se sa k sot pase ak chat ou a. Mwen achte 50 dola vyann kabrit pou m fè manje pou mari m ak pitit mwen gro jodi dimanch nan; chat ou a manje prèske tout vyann nan,... men rès la, ba ou li pita.
(Avoka): A! Se pa problèm; men 50 dola ou a machè. Chat sa a ensipòtab!
Madan Perès kontan l ap souri, li wè li pran avoka a nan atrap nigo, li fè sa pou l leve pou li ale)........
(Avoka): Madan Perès ou bliye yon bagay. Ou pa peye m konsiltasyon an non. Se 100 dola li ye wi. M ap pran 50, w a dwe m 50!
A Meaty Case Won by Attorney Lefort V of Cape-Haitian
[Creole edition and English translation by: E. W. VEDRINE]
You know what it meant in the past to buy fifty dollars worth of meat on a Sunday in Haiti? Well, Mrs. Peréz learned that the neighbor's cat, a great lawyer, ate half of the expensive meat that was bought for the household meal. This is a predicament that would cause anyone big heartache! Who is going to eat the cat's leftover? No, this cannot be tolerated! But how to make the lawyer and a guy that everyone knows is highly intelligent, pay damages for that?
So Mrs. Peréz comes up with a great idea. She goes to the lawyer's house next door:
(Mrs. Peréz): Good day, attorney!
(The lawyer): Good day, neighbor! What a surprise you come over my house! It's going to rain! On Sunday - again?
(Mrs. Peréz): No attorney, I came to ask you a question.
(The lawyer): Oh!
(Mrs. Peréz): Yes attorney, I'd like to ask you what you think if a male neighbor has a cat that goes over his female neighbor's house and then this cat eats the female neighbor's meat. What do you think the female neighbor should do?
(The lawyer): [thinks for a moment... he remembers that he has a cat...]: Well, if that would happen, I would go over the male neighbor's home and ask him to pay back for the meat.
(Mrs. Peréz): Well, that's what happened by your cat. I've bought fifty dollars worth of goat meat to prepare a meal for my husband and my children this great Sunday. Your cat ate almost the whole lot of meat…. Here's the rest. Should I give it to you later?
(The lawyer): Ah! No problem, here's fifty dollars mom. This cat is intolerable!
Mrs. Pérez is happy; she is smiling, thinking that she gets the lawyer into a trap. She gets up to leave.
(The lawyer): Mrs. Pérez, you forgets something. You have not paid me for the consultation. It's $100. I am taking $50 from you, so you'll owe me 50!
(Thanks to Daudi Jaja Seitu ~ editorial advisor)
